June 16-I'm here to walk dogs and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum (gruff man voice)

I got a new client today.

Zeke. AND Zeus. Both are very very very massive Mastiffs. THEY'RE FREAKING HUGE!!!! Okay, backing up. So, I got to this dude's house and was instructed to go in through the back gate, clean the yard,  and grab Zeke and go. Simple. My instructions were full of terrible lies! I made my way past the owner's FOUR garages, swimming pool, basketball court, batting cage, trampoline, fire pit, outdoor kitchen, and jungle gym to the yard where I dug up these big dog's big mess. So that was a challenge in itself. I won't go into details, but this yard was the hardest nastiest thing to clean eva'. Then I tried to lasso Zeke with the leash and get this quest, if you will, over with.

He aint havin none of that.

This GINORMOUS dog was growling, barking, and simply terrifying me. I'm not scared of dogs ever! I love 'em, love 'em, love 'em, but not today. I was petrified. Eventually, I called my boss, and he got the owner to come and get Zeke leashed and ready to go. I was very happy that I got to leave Zeus behind; he was even more terrifying.

Zeke could easily knock me down and drag me around; I know, because he easily knocked me down and dragged me around. It wasn't exactly the best walk ever, but I finally got him to calm down and had quite the pleasant conversation with him.

Me: "I think every time I take you for a walk I'll dress up really hot and get a guy that lives around here to buy me tons of stuff, eh?"
Zeke: . . . .

And other similar conversations. Anyway, it was fun, I guess (totally wasn't). I like Zeke well enough, and maybe we'll get to be close one day, but for now, I'd like to stick with my little dogs at home. (I think I kinda know how the sandlot kids felt)

The hair acting as a bandit mask really adds to this picture.